The System Isn’t Broken. It Just Wasn’t Made For Us.

When most people think of queer people struggling, it’s in the context of family and social ostracization — but the concerning financial crises among LGBTQIA+ people are often left out of the conversation. Upper-middle class white women show up to Pride parades with “Free Mom Hugs” shirts with the understanding that coming out is often a traumatic experience for so many queer youth, but that’s where the support stops. A hug from a stranger with a savior complex and no comprehension that most queer people aren’t struggling solely from the absence of an emotional support system — familial or otherwise — but from the struggle that often begins the moment after one comes out, and never seems to end: the pursuit of financial stability.

The thing that most cisgender heterosexual (cis-het) people fail to realize is that although it’s becoming more normalized and supported for young queer people to cease contact with toxic family members and individuals causing them psychological or physical harm, the cessation of those ties often leaves them in the absence of a financial support system. And while economic independence from abusive family is vital to the emotional liberation of many of us, we’re left to learn to survive in a system which feeds on the vulnerable, penalizes the poor, and condemns those who ask for help. The manufactured sense of community that people subscribe to is nothing short of superficial; the moment that someone within that community is in need of support — be it financial, emotional, or otherwise — that illusion of mutual support and interconnectedness dissolves as the expectation shifts from empty words to anticipated action. People are comfortable in their ignorance of the suffering of others and they live blissfully in their ivory towers built on the purported support they give, placing them far from the cries for help from those around them. We live in a society built upon oppression and exploitation with a fondness for futile words in lieu of legitimate support and action.

Here is the reality:

LGBTQIA+ people are, and have always been, subjected to far more predatory employment situations than our cis-het counterparts. Individuals within our community with intersectional identities — namely BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) — face infinitely more difficult circumstances. 25% of LGBTQIA+ people earn less than $24,000 annually, in comparison to only 18% of people from the general population. A whopping 29% of transgender people report living in poverty, compared to 12% of people from the general population.

Discrimination against LGBTQIA+ people is still legal in most states. The shielding from predatory hiring and firing practices, housing protections, and economic safeguards cis-het people are privy to do not apply to many of us. And the needle of progress isn’t moving in the right direction; a rise in anti-LGBTQIA legislation — particularly targeting transgender youth — has been noted in most states across the country. The alt-right has picked their fight, and it’s with already-struggling LGBTQIA+ youth who simply wish to be allowed to exist as everyone else can do without fear of persecution and harm.

With few precautions in place to protect LGBTQIA+ people from employment or housing discrimination, food insecurity is consistently an area of concern. While only 15% of people in the overall populous identify as being food-insecure, 27% of LGBTQIA+ people identify as such. When employers are given the green light to discriminate against queer people and most states still permit housing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity, it’s no surprise that many within our community find themselves struggling to afford food.

Let me be very clear: every struggle faced by LGBTQIA+ people is intentional, and every struggle is preventable. Capitalism and the various systems at play are most successful when we give up, give in, and buy into the demands that we stretch ourselves thin and never ask for help. There’s a scarlet letter placed on those who sacrifice their pride to ask for financial support when they’ve exhausted all of their options and have fought as hard as they can to stay afloat, but when you’re a lower-class person working under capitalism — not to mention an LGBTQIA+ and/or BIPOC person — your best is never sufficient. So when one exhausts themselves pandering to the capitalist superstructure, the various exploitative subsystems, and the nonprofit industrial complex (which claims to help) proves just as ineffective and traumatic as the manipulative governmental systems we’re exposed to, what recourse is left for young queer people with no safety net, no financial support system? There isn’t one. With nowhere and no one left to turn to, young LGBTQIA+ people resort to pleading on social media and with their limited networks — desperate to connect with individuals empathetic enough to give them a hand up and help them keep their head above water.

Once again, however, it’s important to remember that our society repudiates those who ask for help — even if it’s the society and systems which forced the individual into the position of needing support in the first place. And we’ve all seen people post and complain about individuals asking for financial support over social media. I’m legitimately unsure if some have never been in a position to question if they’ll have money to buy groceries or pay rent or afford bills, or if they’re just too bitter to allow people to make pride-stripping pleas for help without their judgement or haranguing. There are some who have benefitted from the systems at play, of which capitalism has generously rewarded for their participation in the system at the expense of others. People who are so used to having money that they judge those who don’t, whether consciously or not. People who look at posts asking for financial support and internally question whether the person is lying or actually doing all they can or consider making suggestions because the person detached from the situation thinks they know better than the individual struggling. And there are a handful of people who will have nothing to give but will be the most supportive — both financially and emotionally. Herein lies one of the great manipulations of capitalism: the trope that those with the least to give are often the most generous. As someone becomes more aware of the boot of capitalism on their throat, the throes of the system crushing them financially and leaving them more vulnerable than whence they entered, they recognize that such a trope is created to defer from the fact that wealthy people with the most to give are so detached from those of us in need, so comfortable in their wealth, that they feel no motivation to support someone asking for help — someone in need of support as a direct result of that wealthy individual benefitting from a toxic, exploitative system.

Despite what popular culture and the media displays to cis-het folks, coming out is typically not the only — and definitely not the final — struggle that a young LGBTQIA+ person will face. Fully aware of the privileges I live with as a cisgender gay white man, I realize that the struggles I have faced are miniscule in comparison to the struggles of BIPOC individuals with intersecting identities in our community.

I often hear individuals claim that the reason so many people are suffering in this country and under capitalism is because the system is broken. I can resolutely assure you that the systems in place are functioning precisely as they were intended: to benefit the cis-het, wealthy WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) who created the systems of oppression and exploitation we all live in today. Capitalism and the systems of oppression rooted deep in this nation’s history were never intended to benefit BIPOC or LGBTQIA+ people or disabled people or anyone else who didn’t fit the mold of those who’ve always held power. From the beginning, we have been outsiders to a system created for someone else, unable to live or thrive or experience joy because we were never supposed to. So if you or anyone you know gets up-in-arms when individuals speak of dismantling the systems of oppression in place, tearing down the system, destroying capitalism, eating the rich, or anything else associated with progressive thinking, pause and question why someone would be so against replacing systems contingent upon the harm of others — if not because that person is so comfortable in their wealth, status, and the partiality for the system created to benefit them that they are unwilling to create a society and systems which are structured to benefit everyone.

To close, there are some very clear and effective ways for you to help. First, be cautious of who you support politically. While we are all very aware that modern Republicans are nothing more than white supremacists with their hoods and capes hidden in their briefcases, it’s important to recognize that modern-day Democrats are the Republicans from thirty years ago — they’re just waving Pride flags this time around. The word “progressive” has been labeled by conservatives (including conservative Democrats) as a radical, incomprehensible political stance, but there’s nothing radical about wanting bold action for the issues that plague us and a desire to restructure systems that are inherently exclusionary. Second, educate yourself on anticapitalist literature. If you become defensive when someone criticizes or seeks to dismantle capitalism, reflect on your privilege and why you’re so attached to the system that harms so many. And third, stop defending those who uphold the systems of oppression, exclusion, and exploitation that we’re all accustomed to. Stand up, speak up, and understand that silence in the face of the harm of others is inherently violent.